you’re a mean one mr. grinch

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, well at least that is how the song goes. I personally find this to be true and feel the magic and love this time of year heightened and I try to spread the spirit of giving and good blessings to everyone I meet. But sometimes it can be difficult because not everyone is feeling yuletide happiness and they go out of their way to make you aware of it (especially on social media).

Face it, not everyone is full of holiday cheer. Chances are you have a Scrooge in your life who just flat out doesn’t like this time of year. However, before you write them off as just a mean one, Mr. Grinch; did you ever step back and think why they may be acting the way they are? I guarantee you that they did not just wake up one December morning and decide “I think I am going to hate this holiday”. I have been guilty in the past to just be blinded by my holiday haze and ask well why the heck would people not like this time of year? Undoubtedly there is a reason that they are feeling the way they are.

I am naturally and over annoyingly a bonafide fixer. It is just who I am, I want everyone that I love to be happy, healthy and feeling a sense of fulfillment. When they aren’t, I try my darndest to help them. Okay, maybe I am a little bit of a control freak and obviously there are plenty of things I can not control, but when I see someone I care about struggling, I want to just reach out and fix it for them and take all their worries away. I am not ignorant to comprehend that I can’t fix everything but when it comes to my favorite time of the year, I find myself on over-drive, especially when it comes to the Grinch’s and the Scrooge’s in my life. No matter how much holiday cheer you try to spread, sometimes the best thing you can spread is a little bit of holiday understanding. There is a difference between being genuine with your holiday cheer and being obnoxious about it. If you are sincere with your joy, it will be infectious. Staying pure with your intentions will not go unnoticed. Little random acts of kindness could be the best gift you can give someone. Something as simple as sending a Christmas card, shoveling a drive way or baking a batch of cookies can be enough to make even the crankiest Scrooge smile.

Don’t just assume that the Grinch is out to ruin the holidays for everyone they know (you know what happens when you assume)… Sometimes, all they really are looking for is someone to just listen or know someone truly cares. Being present and being a good listener is a wonderful gift and it is FREE. Find out their interests and the one thing they actually do enjoy about this time of year. There is no way they absolutely hate EVERYTHING having to do with the holidays. Once you find out what they enjoy doing and taking their interests to heart, they will begin to remember the good of this time of year and  this can make a difference to them.

There could be many reasons they are being a Grinch. Are they just plain stressed out? Are they having a hard time at work or school? Are they worried about the financial difficulties this time of year? Unfortunately, some people feel more pain than peace. There are some people who never experience the joys of the holidays because they are hurt by pains of the past. Grief has a terrible way of distorting our lives and making the clouds very grey. It will then slowly drain everything out of us and giving us no desire to participate this time of year. Pain has a way of destroy our perspectives, it takes our inner peace and keeps us from experiencing the fullness of what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.

Did something happen to them that traumatized their life like a death or accident? Missing a loved one during the holidays tends to be the most difficult part. People end up asking themselves, how are we supposed to “celebrate” while we are so lost in our grief and then they completely shut down. The holidays are tough, but not impossible and you have to be the one to pick them back up when they shut down, they can not do it alone. It is easier to go through the holidays together, remembering the good times, celebrating the life of those we loved and lost, and remembering them in special ways during this time. If the Scrooge or Grinch in your life is shutting out the world and tries to go through the Christmas season alone, it will magnify their grief. Reach out to them, there are things you can do with them or suggest for them to do to help you through the grief. There are things like adding a special ornament to the tree in their loved one’s memory. If they do not celebrate Christmas, light a special candle in their memory. Make a donation to a needy charity in their honor. Send a card to someone else you know who has suffered a loss and offer a word of encouragement to them. The possibilities could be endless as to why they dislike the holidays and all you can do is just be there and give some understanding and a little bit of empathy and keep reminding them that they are not alone.

Paying attention to their accolades may help too, they may be feeling down because they feel like all their hard work is for nothing and no one is noticing. Compliment their achievements by giving positive feedback to them. Did they do something good at work or school? Did they go out of their way to make a difference? It’s beneficial to spread the holiday cheer by giving good reassurance and feedback that will push them forward. If you be their cheerleader by showing your support for all of their contributions and recognizing the good they are doing, they will begin to feel appreciated and feel a little happier too. Fundamentally, giving a kind word to someone is part of what the holidays are about.

Unfortunately, of course you just have your plain, flat out, rude people. They are just so negative and mean, not sad or grief stricken. Rude and miserable people just want to bring others down to their level and make them feel their misery, because just as the old saying goes; misery loves company. Just remind yourself, no one is perfect and you can not control their hateful behavior. However, you can control your reaction to it. There can be no real change until people begin to realize the power of their choices. If all else fails, you can just ignore their negativity. Don’t let them put out your light.

When it comes to the Scrooge’s and Grinch’s in your life, the bottom line is; they are all going through something. Whether is is a loved one, a co-worker, or even a stranger… if they have appear to be having a hard time dealing with all of this holiday cheer, all you can really do is try to spread some understanding this holiday season. You never know what’s going on with folks behind closed doors. It is difficult to break the shell of someone who utters nothing but “Bah Humbug” all the time but by genuinely expressing your holiday happiness, you may be able to make a difference in even the crankiest Scrooge’s holiday. It all comes down to understanding and compassion.

And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two! -How the Grinch Stole Christmas

My challenge for you this holiday season is to step back and quick not to judge the Scrooge’s in your life. I encourage you to not tell people “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch…” and write them out of your life before thinking twice about why they are acting that way. I pray that you all can spread some happiness in the hearts of the ones you may know that are struggling this holiday season. Keep spreading your holiday cheer mixed in with understanding. Be genuine and be sincere with your joy, it will be infectious. Don’t give up on trying to make them smile. ❤ N